데일 카네기의 대인관계론 (영어 개정판)
데일 카네기
How to Win Friends and Influence People covers a lot of ideas. A good way to understand the book is to learn the general principles underlying the book. Then we’ll cover a checklist for two common situations:
1) how to approach arguments,
2) how to give feedback and change someone else’s behavior.
Principles
People crave the feeling of importance. Make someone feel important and they will think well of you. Diminish someone’s importance and they will resent you.
Appeal to the other person’s interests. Virtually all people care more about what they want than what you want.
You wouldn’t go fishing with cheesecake as a lure, since fish don’t like cheesecake. Go fishing with worms.
Keep asking yourself - “what is it that this person wants?”
Everyone has something they can teach you, and you benefit by figuring out what that is. This belief leads to a genuine interest and appreciation for other people.
Angry people are often angry because they feel unheard. Once you sympathize with them, they will soften their anger substantially.
Approach people with a positive demeanor. Smile and be happy.
A person’s name is the most important word in any language to them. Use it often and respect it.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Ask questions that they’ll enjoy answering.
To influence people to do things, praise and appreciation are more effective than orders.
Don’t start by criticizing or complaining. This makes them defensive and rationalize their actions. Instead, praising them lowers their defenses, and they’ll be more receptive to your feedback.
1) how to approach arguments,
2) how to give feedback and change someone else’s behavior.
Principles
People crave the feeling of importance. Make someone feel important and they will think well of you. Diminish someone’s importance and they will resent you.
Appeal to the other person’s interests. Virtually all people care more about what they want than what you want.
You wouldn’t go fishing with cheesecake as a lure, since fish don’t like cheesecake. Go fishing with worms.
Keep asking yourself - “what is it that this person wants?”
Everyone has something they can teach you, and you benefit by figuring out what that is. This belief leads to a genuine interest and appreciation for other people.
Angry people are often angry because they feel unheard. Once you sympathize with them, they will soften their anger substantially.
Approach people with a positive demeanor. Smile and be happy.
A person’s name is the most important word in any language to them. Use it often and respect it.
Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Ask questions that they’ll enjoy answering.
To influence people to do things, praise and appreciation are more effective than orders.
Don’t start by criticizing or complaining. This makes them defensive and rationalize their actions. Instead, praising them lowers their defenses, and they’ll be more receptive to your feedback.
